Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
