my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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