we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
