Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
