I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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