I'm lost and stupid without you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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