just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You dont lie about slip and slides
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
