think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
