I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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