As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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