Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
