My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
