I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
