I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He kissed a someone with a penis
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
