Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
