the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
