Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
