Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
