2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
