It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The Olympian is in my bed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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