he wants to bone in the snuggie
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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