It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
