I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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