whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
