Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
