My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
