Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
