i was born a porn star she said
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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