OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
