i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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