i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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