the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
