One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
