I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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