you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
this boner is exhausting
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
