ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
