they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
