how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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