everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
