Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
