i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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