i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
