So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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