She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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