you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
