i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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