so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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