This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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