I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I could fuck to npr.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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