I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
